I Made the Big Decision

But I’m having trouble figuring out its implementation.

I’ve narrowed it down to three choices:

1. Announce the decision with minimal explanation.
2. Announce with explanation and advice.
3. Announce with explanation and blame.

The decision will affect a lot of people, including many people who have no idea that it’s coming, from friends to professional/appointed/elected people who have trusted me and may be shocked.

It is possible that my decision and/or my statement becomes publicized beyond where I share it. It is possible that my decision resonates beyond the audience I’m imagining.

It might be useful to consider all three. The first option feels like a non-starter. People will want to know why. Those closest to the decision may think they know, but others — especially those further away from the decision — will ask questions. I don’t think choice one is a good idea.

Choice two seems like the high road. Offering advice on my way out, about what I see, what I’ve learned, how I think improvement can happen. It feels challenging to me, however, because part of my big decision is that I think my advice can no longer be heard. But if I step outside myself, and try to cast away the blame that I feel, if I leave my ego out of it, can I give advice? Is is disingenuous to give advice that the direct audience is unable to hear/heed, in the hopes that it will find a wider audience who extracts value from it?

The third choice is the most satisfying and the most problematic. I can say plainly what I want to say, identify the mistakes people made, show how those mistakes led to my big decision. But if I assign blame, I put myself in the spotlight, open myself up to criticism and unfair dealing, force others to defend themselves. And those I’m blaming aren’t bad people as much as ineffective, hard-working Boy Scouts. (Well, one of them is bad, and one doesn’t like me.)

My reasonable deadline for finishing this was yesterday. I’m writing this because I’m still stuck this morning, unsure of what to do, unsure of how to do it, hoping that writing it out will lead me to the answer. And I think in a way it has. Choice one is unsatisfying and incomplete. Choice three will leave a sour taste, and a trail of resentment, which isn’t the way I want my decision to be remembered. Choice two is the only way.

But what kind of advice should I give? And should I pepper the advice with examples (blame)? Sigh.